Paul is one of the anchors of our 6:30am class.
He’s been doing CrossFit for over a decade. He’s at every community event we throw. He’s the guy shouting your name on the last round.
He’s also an introvert.
“To engage in some of those activities, I really have to push myself,” he told me on this week’s podcast. “Especially if I think there’s not going to be anybody that I know there.”
He goes anyway. And every time, there’s someone he knows. Or someone new.
That’s the whole blog, honestly. But let’s unpack it.
Where “Tables, Not Walls” Came From
In 2001, Paul was an architect. He worked for a large firm based in New York City while living in Los Angeles, which meant a lot of flights to New York.
On 9/11, it hit him: he could have been in one of those buildings.
“What was I supposed to do with this gift of life that I haven’t done yet?”
In the days after, he watched people reach for each other. A huge swell of we’re all in this together. Then it faded. Fingers got pointed. Walls went back up.
So Paul wrote himself a mission: Dismantle walls. Build tables.
A wall keeps people out. A table is “a place where you gather and share and learn about each other.”
He eventually left architecture to become a pastor. His old colleagues were confused for about five seconds. Then they thought about who he was and said, “Oh. That makes sense.”
Your Health Isn’t a Filing Cabinet
Here’s the line from our conversation I keep coming back to:
“We have a tendency to think about our health in silos. Our mental health is in a silo, our physical health is in a silo, our social health is in a silo, our emotional health is in a silo. And really, they’re all part of the same thing.”
Same goes for people. We put them in boxes. Gym friend. Work friend. Neighbor.
Paul’s favorite moment is when the boxes break. You show up at someone’s house and your friend from CrossFit is there. You find out a stranger has something in common with you.
That spillover is where health actually lives.
Pain as an Opening
Paul has lived with psoriatic arthritis for about 20 years. The last two and a half were rough enough that he chose a shoulder replacement.
“After three days of post-operative pain, I feel better than I have in years.”
He barely missed a day at the gym. No heavy lifting yet, so he comes in for PT, the stationary bike, and the sauna. He calls it preparation and recovery. (Words matter.)
Next up on his list: a jumping bar muscle-up and hanging from the bar for a full minute.
But the part that stopped me was this:
“Pain is an impediment. It’s also an opening… I have no idea what your pain is, but I know that you have pain. So for me, it evokes compassion. It’s a gift.”
Pain can build a wall. Paul used it to build a table.
Why Community Keeps You Training
I asked Paul if he’d work out as hard as he does without this community.
“Oh, definitely not.”
Before CrossFit, he tried structured, thoughtful workouts on his own. It didn’t stick. He needed “the encouragement and the structure and the company to keep going.”
And when I asked where he sees community most in class, his answer wasn’t the PRs.
It was failure. “When we have to bail, but someone is right there next to us to support us.”
The Protocol: 4 Ways to Build Your Table
1. Find your place. For Paul, it’s the gym and his church. For you it might be jiu jitsu, yoga, a run club, or a book group. Look for three things: the same time, the same people, and a reason bigger than you.
2. Show up before you feel ready. Especially if you’re an introvert. Especially if you don’t know anyone yet. Especially when you’re in “preparation and recovery” mode.
3. Meet your literal next-door neighbor. Paul’s simplest advice. It helps you, because someone can come alongside you. It helps them, because you can come alongside them.
4. Write your mission, then revisit it. One sentence. Then ask Paul’s questions: Have I been living up to that? Am I happy and productive? If it doesn’t match, maybe the mission needs to change.
Paul’s Challenge to Us
At the end, I asked Paul how DCF could do community better. He didn’t hold back, which I love.
He said our outreach is great, but it can drift into performative. We show up big at Thanksgiving, then go quiet.
His challenge: carry that same energy 24/7, 365. Then the holiday moments stop being performances and start being organic.
We’re taking that one to heart. Less “event on the calendar.” More weaving it into every week.
Quick Answers
Does community really affect your health?
Research has consistently linked strong social connection to better health outcomes, and loneliness to higher health risks. At DCF, we see it every day: people who have a crew keep showing up, and showing up is what drives results.
I’m an introvert. Is a group gym for me?
Paul is an introvert too. Start with one class at the same time each week. The faces become familiar fast, and coaches will introduce you around.
Can I keep training during injury recovery?
Often, yes, with your medical team’s clearance. Paul kept his routine with PT, the bike, and the sauna while he couldn’t lift. Our coaches scale every workout to where you are.
How do I find community in Walla Walla?
Try before you’re ready. Pick one place, go at the same time for a month, and learn one new name each visit. If you want that place to be DCF, book a free consult and we’ll get you started.
Come Build a Table With Us
🎧 Hear the full conversation on Actually Doing Things: Click Here
🍽️ Ready to find your people? Book a free consult: wwdcf.com/free-consultation/
See you on the floor,
Nikki + the DCF Team
If you or someone you love is struggling with loneliness or mental health, support is available 24/7. Call or text 988.
